Off the Wagon but trying to board the train. Nov. 17, 08

I am ashamed to admit that I gave up. I gave up on myself, I gave up on my husband, I gave up on my kids, I gave up on my future. I let discouragement and the first bump in the road to knock me out of the wagon and I laid on the ground feeling sorry for myself. Today I begin anew, ready to move forward and to see where the journey takes me.

I am going to try the Metformin again starting this evening. I don't care if I feel sick at first. I don't care if I can't order the chicken wings and the burgers that I so crave. I have decided that the cravings are not my friend- they are my own personal sabotage. I miss having the lack of hunger pangs on the Metformin. I miss sitting at night and being able to focus on my book rather than the growling stomach I KNOW I just fed an hour beforehand. It is out of control. My weight is out of control and I want to take it back.

So what if I lose hair? I have decided being bald is better than being overweight and unhealthy. I may be a bald lady, but I'll be the bald lady without insulin resistance and without the muffin top on her jeans. Ha, I can't believe I just admitted that.

So here we go again, and this time, I think since it is "my" idea and not some arbitraty thing I was going to "try" that I want to just test out, that I will be successful. I figure, unless it kills me, any progress is worth it.

I will post tomorrow how the day is going. 500 mgs of Metformin, ORDER UP! I'm sorry I let all of you down as well and just gave up. I want this blog to help others and all's I did was focus on myself.. well no longer. This blog WILL be a success story and I am not going to give up again. :)